It is foreign to even our Christian communities these days. Justin Martyr boasted the vast numbers of young people who were virgins in the Church . Were we to make such a statement today, people would have no choice but to become Mormons.
It’s not entirely lost, my bride of 42 years was a 23 year old virgin when we wed. The result of Pentecostal holiness Aunts who watched over her in her youth.
Sexual "compatibility" is not a Biblical category or criterion. Our pornified culture likes to make sexual pleasure and bed craft the highest good; it's not.
I think a bit of self-sacrifice might possibly be ....a good thing? Am I wrong? I could have sworn I heard some folks somewhere talk about carrying crosses or something.
Sorry, Peter, this is a bizarre position for a Christian to hold. You’re implicitly advocating for sex before marriage to “kick the tires” in case there is incompatibility, and creating a divorce construct based on failure to perform. Please, stop. Marriage is for better or worse in all respects.
I am not expert on Doug Wilson. Since he is a Calvinist I am sure he is guilty of many errors. On the otherhand I have heard interviews with him on Lutheran podcasts where he sounds quite reasonable. Are you sure you are being fair to him.
Also the hitting the wall comment I don't think is a statement about a woman's intrinsic worth before God. I believe what people are speaking of is the marriage market. The thought is that the longer it takes a woman to find a husband the less desirable is the husband she will have to settle for. This is not intrinsic worth at all but simply desirability as a mate. There are of course exceptions but isn't there at least some truth to the observation? All men are not equally desirable as husbands nor all women equally desirable as wives. None of this touches on the intrinsic value of men and women to Christ.
The younger generation is having a tough time of it. Society has ruined them.
Many young men we know have no clue how to hold a conversation, have poor hygiene, and do little to improve themselves. Others are unemployed or underemployed and seem content to be so because then they can play computer games.
My advice to young men is this: become the man a wife would want to respect and look up to long before you start looking for a spouse.
The author sent me this as an example of the Doug Wilson problem. A potty mouth really does not help make his case (it goes again to not being a respectable man).
No a potty mouth doesn't but that blogpost looks like it is from a hate site. Are you sure it is accurate? It doesn't sound like the man from the podcast interviews. They did a lot of hit pieces on Charlie Kirk as well. Took his words out of context
Granted, that link has his most egregious statements all in one article and I’m sure some have been taken out of context. But should we not strive to be above reproach?
Yes. We should but I wouldn't want to judge a man on isolated statements if they don't constitute his general tenor. An example would be Luther's table talk. One can find vulgarity there. We don't reject him for that because of the whole corpus of his writings. We would be much poorer if we did.
Wilson has enough going on that adding this to the list is not inappropriate. Worse things have been said, and worse habits of speaking have been used, but there's no reason not to identify these comments as a problem.
I guess I’m one of those exceptions, when it comes to finding a desirable husband at an older age. Hard to summarize my life story in a few sentences, but with God‘s help, I also saved sex for marriage, and then only a little over a couple of years ago, I was married to the incredible man who is now my husband. In addition, I find this article applicable because for decades, there were no prospects for me to even date and then when I thought I found one, instead, he responded with anger when I informed him I was a virgin and explained why I chose to obey God in living that way. As a result, I suffered through a very dark time in the years after being sexually assaulted on that first date I had had in 20 years. It was not rape, but the humiliation, loneliness, and shock of the trauma left me in pretty bad shape for several years. I really believed I would be single for the rest of my life.
The way the Lord brought my husband into my life ten years later, was fascinating, at what turned out to be just the right time, which allowed me to devote the years necessary to full-time caregiving for both of my dear and faithful parents, until the Lord called each of them home to eternal glory with Him. What the Lord did for me in the gift of my husband is something I did not think was possible. It is one of those blessings for which there are almost no words. It’s still hard to believe it’s real and it’s hard to explain my gratitude for these blessings the Lord has given me.
My advice for the young Christian ladies is that it is going to be difficult, but chastity is possible, and doing something as important as that God‘s way is worth it. If there are dark times, and you suffer or even are persecuted because of your faith, study God‘s Word, find reliable, competent Pastoral counsel, dig deep, hold on to God‘s promises in Christ, seek God‘s Word and Sacrament at church, support of wise and caring Christian family, friends, or even acquaintances is very helpful if that is available, repent and pray daily, persist in trusting God‘s love for you; He will not let you go. As much as I love my husband, our life in this world is temporal, and the ultimate peace is in what Jesus has done for you, His love for you to forgive you and save you from your sins for eternal life with Him.
Thank you, Wanita. We met at a local LCMS church, where he had been a long-time member, but my parents and I had only moved into membership at that congregation, from a different LCMS congregation a few years before I met him. My husband is a musician and was part of a brass ensemble, I was a choir member, among my other volunteer roles at the congregation. I was so busy taking care of my mom, who suffered from Parkinson’s, I was not looking for a relationship at that time. I had noticed my husband when I saw him in church, but a friend who sat next to me in the choir, pointed him out, told me some interesting hobbies of his I didn’t know about, and teasingly suggested, “Wouldn’t you like to be the wife of a…? I laughed and didn’t think about it again until my husband and I started talking in the church parking lot a year or so later, where he asked me out on a date. I was skeptical, grilled him with questions, but not for long. After a few dates, I began to see the potential of this being real. Later, when people asked us how we met, we’ve always joked that we met in the church’s, singles group… and it didn’t hurt that he and I were the only ones in the group 😉(there actually was no singles group at that congregation).
I have to say, I'm impressed. This is now the second Ad Crucem article in a week that I have not been offended by. In fact, I like what I read here. This is why I began to follow Ad Crucem News to begin with. The other was critical of trends in our Synod, but without ad hominem attacks, smears, or attempts to know the secret intents of our leaders, just question their actions. I thought I should say so, since I have been pretty vocal when I don't like what I see. Keep up the good work.
Kanye West was right: Instagram is porn. (And related platforms like TikTok, which are even worse for other psychological reasons)
Never never never let your children use these platforms. Or yourself.
Universal AI age analysis and government registration will become the normal protocol for all platforms, but the corporations and government have no interest in stopping the actual mills of abuse that run on them. Until all of it is considered dangerous to humanity, not only children, nothing of significance will come of these regimes.
Well said and I would add this: my wife died three years ago and she was a beautiful Christian and Lutheran woman. When I see the gross caricature of men in drag with painted faces, outlandish dresses and flamboyant gestures and voice, I say: how dare they mock womanhood and my wife. I don’t see women like cross dressers any where, yet they have been extolled everywhere. I will resuscitate an old word: they are sexist and grotesquely so. To say the least.
It is foreign to even our Christian communities these days. Justin Martyr boasted the vast numbers of young people who were virgins in the Church . Were we to make such a statement today, people would have no choice but to become Mormons.
It’s not entirely lost, my bride of 42 years was a 23 year old virgin when we wed. The result of Pentecostal holiness Aunts who watched over her in her youth.
A gift I was not worthy of.
— a son of the reformation Lutheran LCMS
He who finds such a wife finds a good thing.
I know chaste young women in the LCMS, one of whom penned this article for us, another of whom is our deaconess who works for Ad Crucem.
Christian marital love is about serving your husband / wife. In the light of that service, any incompatibility will be ironed out in time.
Sexual "compatibility" is not a Biblical category or criterion. Our pornified culture likes to make sexual pleasure and bed craft the highest good; it's not.
I think a bit of self-sacrifice might possibly be ....a good thing? Am I wrong? I could have sworn I heard some folks somewhere talk about carrying crosses or something.
Sorry, Peter, this is a bizarre position for a Christian to hold. You’re implicitly advocating for sex before marriage to “kick the tires” in case there is incompatibility, and creating a divorce construct based on failure to perform. Please, stop. Marriage is for better or worse in all respects.
And what did St Paul instruct us about marriage?
We do not look to rabbinical teachings, we look to scripture. Go and read Ephesians before you respond to us, please.
🫡 salute
I am not expert on Doug Wilson. Since he is a Calvinist I am sure he is guilty of many errors. On the otherhand I have heard interviews with him on Lutheran podcasts where he sounds quite reasonable. Are you sure you are being fair to him.
I think he's sure, else he would not have done it.
Also the hitting the wall comment I don't think is a statement about a woman's intrinsic worth before God. I believe what people are speaking of is the marriage market. The thought is that the longer it takes a woman to find a husband the less desirable is the husband she will have to settle for. This is not intrinsic worth at all but simply desirability as a mate. There are of course exceptions but isn't there at least some truth to the observation? All men are not equally desirable as husbands nor all women equally desirable as wives. None of this touches on the intrinsic value of men and women to Christ.
The younger generation is having a tough time of it. Society has ruined them.
Many young men we know have no clue how to hold a conversation, have poor hygiene, and do little to improve themselves. Others are unemployed or underemployed and seem content to be so because then they can play computer games.
My advice to young men is this: become the man a wife would want to respect and look up to long before you start looking for a spouse.
The author sent me this as an example of the Doug Wilson problem. A potty mouth really does not help make his case (it goes again to not being a respectable man).
https://dougwilsonsays.com/blog/insulting-degrading-language-toward-women/
No a potty mouth doesn't but that blogpost looks like it is from a hate site. Are you sure it is accurate? It doesn't sound like the man from the podcast interviews. They did a lot of hit pieces on Charlie Kirk as well. Took his words out of context
Granted, that link has his most egregious statements all in one article and I’m sure some have been taken out of context. But should we not strive to be above reproach?
Yes. We should but I wouldn't want to judge a man on isolated statements if they don't constitute his general tenor. An example would be Luther's table talk. One can find vulgarity there. We don't reject him for that because of the whole corpus of his writings. We would be much poorer if we did.
Wilson has enough going on that adding this to the list is not inappropriate. Worse things have been said, and worse habits of speaking have been used, but there's no reason not to identify these comments as a problem.
I guess I’m one of those exceptions, when it comes to finding a desirable husband at an older age. Hard to summarize my life story in a few sentences, but with God‘s help, I also saved sex for marriage, and then only a little over a couple of years ago, I was married to the incredible man who is now my husband. In addition, I find this article applicable because for decades, there were no prospects for me to even date and then when I thought I found one, instead, he responded with anger when I informed him I was a virgin and explained why I chose to obey God in living that way. As a result, I suffered through a very dark time in the years after being sexually assaulted on that first date I had had in 20 years. It was not rape, but the humiliation, loneliness, and shock of the trauma left me in pretty bad shape for several years. I really believed I would be single for the rest of my life.
The way the Lord brought my husband into my life ten years later, was fascinating, at what turned out to be just the right time, which allowed me to devote the years necessary to full-time caregiving for both of my dear and faithful parents, until the Lord called each of them home to eternal glory with Him. What the Lord did for me in the gift of my husband is something I did not think was possible. It is one of those blessings for which there are almost no words. It’s still hard to believe it’s real and it’s hard to explain my gratitude for these blessings the Lord has given me.
My advice for the young Christian ladies is that it is going to be difficult, but chastity is possible, and doing something as important as that God‘s way is worth it. If there are dark times, and you suffer or even are persecuted because of your faith, study God‘s Word, find reliable, competent Pastoral counsel, dig deep, hold on to God‘s promises in Christ, seek God‘s Word and Sacrament at church, support of wise and caring Christian family, friends, or even acquaintances is very helpful if that is available, repent and pray daily, persist in trusting God‘s love for you; He will not let you go. As much as I love my husband, our life in this world is temporal, and the ultimate peace is in what Jesus has done for you, His love for you to forgive you and save you from your sins for eternal life with Him.
That is truly beautiful, Elizabeth. Thank you for the encouragement you have written to our ladies here.
How did you meet your husband?
Thank you, Wanita. We met at a local LCMS church, where he had been a long-time member, but my parents and I had only moved into membership at that congregation, from a different LCMS congregation a few years before I met him. My husband is a musician and was part of a brass ensemble, I was a choir member, among my other volunteer roles at the congregation. I was so busy taking care of my mom, who suffered from Parkinson’s, I was not looking for a relationship at that time. I had noticed my husband when I saw him in church, but a friend who sat next to me in the choir, pointed him out, told me some interesting hobbies of his I didn’t know about, and teasingly suggested, “Wouldn’t you like to be the wife of a…? I laughed and didn’t think about it again until my husband and I started talking in the church parking lot a year or so later, where he asked me out on a date. I was skeptical, grilled him with questions, but not for long. After a few dates, I began to see the potential of this being real. Later, when people asked us how we met, we’ve always joked that we met in the church’s, singles group… and it didn’t hurt that he and I were the only ones in the group 😉(there actually was no singles group at that congregation).
That's beautiful, thank you for sharing!
He puts the lonely in families (Ps 68:6)
I have to say, I'm impressed. This is now the second Ad Crucem article in a week that I have not been offended by. In fact, I like what I read here. This is why I began to follow Ad Crucem News to begin with. The other was critical of trends in our Synod, but without ad hominem attacks, smears, or attempts to know the secret intents of our leaders, just question their actions. I thought I should say so, since I have been pretty vocal when I don't like what I see. Keep up the good work.
Kanye West was right: Instagram is porn. (And related platforms like TikTok, which are even worse for other psychological reasons)
Never never never let your children use these platforms. Or yourself.
Universal AI age analysis and government registration will become the normal protocol for all platforms, but the corporations and government have no interest in stopping the actual mills of abuse that run on them. Until all of it is considered dangerous to humanity, not only children, nothing of significance will come of these regimes.
Well said and I would add this: my wife died three years ago and she was a beautiful Christian and Lutheran woman. When I see the gross caricature of men in drag with painted faces, outlandish dresses and flamboyant gestures and voice, I say: how dare they mock womanhood and my wife. I don’t see women like cross dressers any where, yet they have been extolled everywhere. I will resuscitate an old word: they are sexist and grotesquely so. To say the least.