Vacation Babysitting School

School will soon be out for the Summer, which means the hard sell for themed and highly produced Vacation Bible School programs is peaking.

Parents with young school-going children are researching local Vacation Bible School (VBS) options for the upcoming holidays. For many VBS consumers, the prime motivation is free child care for several hours daily. They are especially interested in being able to sequence programs to maximize the total time kids can be offloaded, and with little manifest concern for the confession of the host church. Indeed, in some towns, it’s not unusual for pastors to aid the effort and coordinate schedules and programs to avoid stepping on each other’s efforts.

VBS has become a vast and very profitable industry. However, it suffers from intense competition because the barriers to entry are relatively low, and customer acquisition and retention are comparatively easy. Some consolidation has been evident, and the number of providers is decreasing, dominated by a few primary organizations, divided into two main camps:

• Vertically integrated denominational monopolies, and

• non-denominational creators nibbling at the edge of the monopolies.

VBS was always free and pitched as a community evangelism outreach. However, the babysitting problem has given impetus to a supplemental events management business bundled with programs. Some churches have begun charging parents a nominal fee per child so that everyone is a little clearer about the transactional reality of contemporary VBS programs.

Widow’s mites need not apply.

Using now quite aged research from Lifeway (read with care—Lifeway needs to sell its VBS packages) and Barna Group, we can estimate that in 2025, perhaps ~60% of American protestant churches (~214,000 congregations) will run a VBS and let’s conservatively estimate that only one-quarter of those churches (~53,500) will buy a slick packaged program. Based on a published survey of 120 churches, the weighted average VBS spend was $3,220, translating into at least ~$172 million annually for VBS content in America alone. Including worldwide sales, it could easily reach $200 million or more per year.

To put that in some perspective, the Southern Baptist Convention’s (SBC) national mission budget for 2023 was $176 million, and the LCMS's total net assets were $164.9 million.

Source

The profit margins on the top-selling programs will be staggering because the marginal cost to the publisher is fractional. Overheads can be shared with other cost centers, while expensive creative content can be outsourced to avoid having it on payroll. The revenue source is also evergreen since the content is deliberately designed to be consumed in the same year it is purchased. Kids and parents have also been trained to expect a “new release” each year, so good luck trying to reuse last year’s leftover materials.

What are those, Hawaiian noises?

All packaged VBS programs are formulaic, starting with an entertainment objective - after all, you are competing against a dozen superior distractions. Since nothing “entertains” kids as effectively as movies and video games, they have become the design model - Bible story flannelgraphs don’t cut it for iPad kids. Hence, the themed packages have become undifferentiated. They all:

• Resemble cut-rate imitations of Disney, Pixar, or Blue Sky.

• Have perennial themes that can be recycled (nothing on suffering and sanctification, of course):

  • Adventure: exotic far away place (Alaska, Australia, Africa, Amazon, South Pacific, Jungle, Safari, Arctic, Mountains, Desert, Wild this and wild that, etc.)

  • Space

  • Sea: Beach, Underwater, Island, Voyaging

  • Farming

  • Construction / Mining

  • Movie and TV spinoffs

  • Camping

  • Dinosaurs

  • Theme Parks

• Insert “Jesus” or “God” in the key promotional material, usually incorporating one or more of the following words among a blizzard of superlatives: epic, finding, journey, roll, adventure, discovering, trusting, marveling, unforgettable, amazing, awesome, incredible.

• Have nearly identical and frenetic scheduling structures.

  • “Bible” time is barely more substantial than crafts, snacks, music, performances, etc.

• Relentlessly upsell catalog swag, such as decorations, posters, bandannas, collectibles, stickers, t-shirts, temporary tattoos(!!??), videos, crafts, games, music, snacks, etc.

  • Unfortunately, the marketing for all the programs dissolves the 9th and 10th Commandments - the starter pack is never enough!

• Have increasing “gamification” elements.

  

  Thou shalt consume

Uncatechism

The upshot of modern VBS programs is that they are aligned with non-denominational mega church “vibes” that oppose traditional worship and liturgy. They reinforce:

• Children worship God and receive Bible instruction separately from adults, especially to give the parents a “break”.

  • Pastors are seldom present as Christ’s designated office holder accountable for doctrinal instruction.

• Church for children must be entertaining and connected with short burst activities that can hold diminishing attention spans.

• Actual Bible teaching is de minimis—disjointed lessons that are not indisputably elevated above crafts, snacks, games, and activities.

• Church music is only contemporary and performer-led.

• Low expectations: Behave and tell your mom you had a good time; boast about your swag.

• “Creaster”¹ commitments are acceptable, especially for unbelievers. Attending church irregularly and at someone else's convenience has been made perfectly normal.

• Enticements activate the gospel.

If modern goodie-driven VBSs were effective, they would help reverse the persistent decline in church membership and attendance. Can we at least be ruthlessly honest with ourselves about VBS's utter failure?

Retvrn to the Bible

If a church has a VBS, the schedule should be dominated by the authoritative presence² of the pastor(s) wearing a clerical collar. Secondly, it should be focused on teaching scripture and the Small Catechism (a simple version without unnecessary trappings).

The most important benefit is to shake loose parents whose sole interest is inexpensive babysitting rather than Christian instruction. The kids will have taken their cue from the parents—they will only remember the activities and freebies, not the truncated, siloed Bible stories.

How about keeping it simple with a chapel service and teaching of the Small Catechism? The kids who attend will remember it for eternity. If the parents want food and games included, invite them to take over at a local park or pool afterward. Lead with the gospel; this is what Lutheran pastors are made for!

☩TW☩

1. Creaster = Christmas and Easter

2. Not just as an object of adult and pastoral respect, but also to teach manners and apply discipline to misbehaving kids.